Rejecting a Guy

Dropped in July 26, 2018

So, here’s the story. While I was on vacation in the Philippines, I talked to two boys for the first time who knew me because well, everyone in the province knows my mother’s family. It was all fun talk and whatever. I knew one of them took a liking on me (alternative name: Aldo)—although I was never told the actual reason except for I can sing, I look pretty and he has a fetish for wavy hair, at least according to him; and those are definitely no reasons for me to take an interest in a person if that’s all they’re after. Well, this guy has been eliminated from my list soon after our conversation because all he said was nonsense and he lied to me with his age.

Then there’s this other guy who was with him. Let’s give him the name André. Truth to be told, I had fun talking with him and making fun of Aldo along with André. Just a few weeks ago I found André on Facebook and obviously, I’d be the one to add him because well, he grew on me as a friend over the vacation. Things went well and we would always joke around about several things.

Now to the main part of this post. Yesterday evening i was chatting with him again. I told him few days prior that me and my brother were hunting for BBQ in a festival and André had no idea what the abbreviation BBQ stands for. So I explained it to him and he told me in a joking manner that he thought I meant that he was my “bae”. It’s literally like this how he understood it:

  • His mind: BBQ = Bebe ko (Tagalog); meaning “my babe”
  • What I meant: BBQ = barbecue; food, literally

So…I said I already had a “bae”, but it wouldn’t be him. Obviously, I meant it as a joke, but I’m to 201% sure that I triggered him with what I said because he suddenly became offended and told me “oh okay, goodnight”. He didn’t go to sleep yet, so I wrote him it was only a joke. So he told me to tell him the truth and I actually had to repeat what I told him from the very beginning: I may not have any feelings for a former boyfriend of mine, but I’m also in no need to be in a relationship, nor do I want to. I told him not to be angry or sad because there would be plenty of other girls, probably much better than me to take a liking on.

In the end I got irritated because he started to become defensive, saying he was okay and that he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. I’ve never met a guy who would sulk and act offended towards a rejection, as if it was my fault to begin with, which clearly wasn’t. It was a first and I dearly hope that it’ll never happen again because it’s tiring. Especially if I already apologized to him several times. I even told him if I even gave him the tiniest hint of hope, I’d be super sorry for it, but he brushed it off.

The lesson I learned out of it: I should stop talking to people from my mom’s province, specifically males. Because all you’ll get are headaches and them trying to make you feel guilty for something which wasn’t your fault to begin with.

Credits: GIF!MAGE


Category: Diary
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3 Comments

  1. Lucien commented in July 27th 2018 at 4:36 PM, UTC

    I’ve met my share of shallow guys, but “Aldo” beats them all. Oh. My. God. LOL

    Maybe I’m wrong, but to me André seems like the kind of guy who thinks he’s some sort of gift to womankind – there’s no way he didn’t know what BBQ stands for, which means he had given for granted that you fancied him and his male pride couldn’t stand the truth that you didn’t. Being taken down a peg will only do him good.

  2. Christien commented in July 27th 2018 at 6:09 PM, UTC

    AHAHAHA. I didn’t think he’d be this bad. It was my first time, so I was sort of thrown off at how shallow he was.

    Gosh, I don’t know how to start with André. I doubt he thinks that way since he’s well… He seems to know that he isn’t that good looking and not the biggest flirt when talking to a woman face to face. Although I have a hunch that it’s because he’s from the province. I got to learn over the past years that males from the Philippine province have their pride no matter what, because even Aldo looked very sulky the day after I turned down his request to a date. Plus I’ve heard from friends that people from the province believe that abroad living people are easy prey for hookups because apparently we’re “rich” and “stupid” and probably have “a lot of (fe)males standing queue” for us. Like, NO.

  3. Lysianthus commented in August 3rd 2018 at 7:52 AM, UTC

    I feel like they are still very immature. 😅 It’s never easy to be rejected, but it takes a lot of self-awareness and maturity to be socially gracious even in such situations.

    That misunderstanding about “BBQ” is a disaster. He was being assuming, and he should have just been more honest when you confronted him about it.

    I have had somebody sulk and also blame me for rejecting him, saying things like, “Maybe this is just a phase all girls experience.” He couldn’t believe that I was rejecting him, as if it was the most unbelievable thing that could ever happen in the world. In the end, all I can say is that it was better that it went that way between us, so it didn’t take too long for me to know and understand how worse it would have gotten down the road if it didn’t happen. I chalk it up to inexperience (understandable) and his insecurity (red flags I should not have ignored). Lesson learned, and hopefully, that person has changed now.

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